By: Denise Weiss
Welcome back rose lovers! It’s week 2 of The Bachelor and you know what that means– time for back -stabbing, dirty looks and more glimpses of Sean’s bare chest!!
Chris (Harrison) arrives at the mansion with the first one on one date card. He is optimistic that at the end of this amazing journey Sean will get down on one knee and propose
Sarah’s One on One
Sarah gets the first date. They take a helicopter to the top of a skyscraper and Sean tells Sarah that they are going to have a champagne toast… after they freefall off the building! Sarah seems nervous as she is strapped into a harness and wonders if she accidentally walked onto the set of Fear Factor. The Bachelor producers never miss an opportunity to use cheesy metaphors about taking plunges and falling in love, and Sean and Sarah don’t let us down as they declare “We’re going to take this plunge together.” They sit on the edge of the platform and get ready for the fall. After a few more cheesy metaphors they finally take the plunge. 360 feet and 17 “Oh my Goshes” later (yes it was 17- I counted them) Sean and Sarah were safely on the ground drinking champagne. Sarah was extremely relieved that she didn’t have to eat 15 hissing Madagascar cockroaches in under 5 minutes.
Later that night, our fearless couple meets for drinks. Sarah grabs Sean’s attention and sympathy by telling him that she wasn’t allowed to go on a zip-line in Vegas because she only has one arm. Really Sarah? You only have one arm? We totally forgot about that because you haven’t mentioned it in the last 28 seconds. The moral of Sarah’s Vegas story is that her dad told her she needed to find a strong man to take care of her. Sean sniffles, bangs his fists on his chest and says “ME STRONG MAN. ME TAKE CARE OF ONE ARM SARAH.” Remember, this is a girl who doesn’t want to be treated differently because of her “disability.” Sarah reiterates that it’s not about what our bodies look like, its what’s on the inside that matters. Right Sarah- that’s exactly what this show is about. The producers always go out and find the girls with the great personalities. Just ask the contestants on The Biggest Loser.
Sarah admits she is falling in love with Sean. Of course she is. It must have been all that plunging and bonding. She gets the rose.
Back at the mansion, the group date card arrives and promises to “capture the romance.” I was hoping that involved chloroform and some rope. The lucky 13 ladies on this date will compete for the chance to be on the cover of 3 Harlequin romance novels. There will be 2 winners on this group date- the girl who has the most chemistry with Sean will get a 3 book cover deal, and the girl who captures Sean’s heart will get a rose. The lucky 13 on this date are Kristy, Amanda, Brooke, Leslie M, Daniella, Catherine, Robyn, Katie, Selma, Diana, Taryn, Kacie and Tierra.
Last week Tierra was the “it girl” who got the rose right out of the limo. This week Tierra is on the group date and she is pissed! She gets in the limo and whines that “being on the group date sucks because I am not here to make friends. I am here for Sean.” Like that line hasn’t been uttered by hundreds of hopeful wife wannabes before her. In the back of a different limo, Katie the barefoot yoga instructor is having serious doubts. She is worried she will be overshadowed by the other women’s bigger personalities.
The girls are divided into 4 categories for this photo shoot and spend hours prepping. While the girls are having their hair and makeup done, Tierra and Robyn use this opportunity to judge the girls and trash talk. Robyn is having such a good time trashing Tierra that even the makeup artist gets in on the action and scoffs “tacky hoes are a dime a dozen.” HUH? Tierra knows Robyn is laughing at her and gives Robyn the ol’ stink eye from the next chair.
After hours of hair, makeup and middle school drama, the girls are ready for their photo shoots. Lesley M. and Sean have a lot of chemistry while taking their western themed photos, which turns the other ladies into raving, jealous green-eyed monsters. Tierra’s strategy to win the photo contest is to go aggressive with the “leg wrap around the waist” move. At the end of the day Kristy the professional model brings sexy back and wins the cover of the Harlequin novels. Kristy revels in her victory but the other girls don’t share in her celebration. The sour grapes award of the night goes to Selma for her line “You can have the cover, but I’m here for the man.” Second place in the sour grapes category goes to Tierra for her rants about how she is here for Sean. Tierra is so stressed that a big dent on her forehead appears out of nowhere.
With the photo shoot finally behind them, it is time for evening activities. Remembering the passion from earlier in the day, Lesley M. pulls Sean aside for some alone time. It does not go well. There are awkward silences, bad body language and inane talk about the weather. They part ways but the missed kiss opportunity does not sit well with Lesley M. Later on in the evening, Lesley M. once again pulls Sean aside and lays a quick, simple kiss on him with Daniella watching a few feet away. Nothing says romance like a creeper in the bushes.
Kacie’s one on one time with Sean is just as bad. Kacie is worried that she in the “friend category” and better do some fast talking or she will end up on Bachelor Pad 4. Kacie pours her heart out about how she wants to take their relationship to the next level. Sean looks really uncomfortable and it is obvious to everyone except Kacie that he does not share her sentiments. This was the perfect opportunity for him to use the line “I would go out with you, but I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship.” Instead, he told her that he too would like to see how their relationship progresses. Wuss.
As the night goes on, our yoga guru Katie decides it is best if she leaves. She tells Sean that she has decided to go home, and after very few words to change her mind, he quickly escorts her to the nearest minivan. I think the reason Katie felt so uncomfortable was because she forgot her flat-iron. If someone had offered her a Chi or a keratin treatment, Katie may have had the confidence to stick around. Clearly falling in love with Sean was not in the cards for Katie, so with a downward dog and a deep cleansing breath Katie, her black leather mini-skirt and her frizzy hair hit the road. Namaste.
The line of the night belonged to Catherine, who told Sean that “I’m a vegan, but I love the beef.” I guess she wanted Sean to know that even though she doesn’t eat meat, she is not opposed to the big salami every so often (if you know what I mean). Sean gives Tierra some TLC and assures her that he is still interested in her, despite the fact that she is wearing a black shirt with white fringe. When all was said and done, Kacie snagged the group date rose and will not have to sign the Bachelor Pad 4 contract just yet. Tierra says she wants to punch Kacie in the face.
Desiree’s One on One
The last one on one date goes to Desiree. Sean suddenly thinks he is Ashton Kutcher and wants to Punk Desiree on their date. Funny guy Sean needs a wife who won’t get mad at him years from now when he hides her fake teeth.
After the boring, not-so-funny prank date, they go back to Sean’s for steak dinner. Desiree loves steak, but Catherine loves the beef. After dinner they hop into the hot tub (I was wondering how long it would take for the hot tub to make an appearance) and have a boring conversation about their parents. Sean is smitten with Demi Lovato, I mean Desiree, and gives her a rose, followed by making out in the hot tub.
With only hours left to the rose ceremony, the ladies know that it’s now or never. Lindsay takes Sean aside, apologizes for the wedding dress debacle and explains that her behavior last week was the result of too much champagne.
Robyn questions the amount of diversity amongst the girls, and asks Sean if he really would choose a woman of color? Sean is excited to be asked the question. He tells Robyn that he has dated Latino, Persian and African-American women, confirming that not only is he open minded, he is also a man-whore.
After spending time with all the women, Sean is very torn about who to send home. UUMMM Sean, I have a thought- PLEASE SEND HOME THE GIRL WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER. Yes I am talking about Amanda!! Despite her sullen mood around the ladies, Sean’s appearance had an amazing affect on Amanda who went from surly and maniacal to smiley and personable in the blink of an eye. The girls are confident that there is no way that Amanda will get a rose because 1. She is crazy, 2. She wore that awful yellow dress with rosette shoulder pads and 3. She forgot to brush her hair before the cocktail party and had really bad bed-head.
Sarah, Kacie and Destinee already have roses, and the remaining roses go to AshLee, Lindsay, Robyn, Jackie, Lesley M., Selma, Catherine, Kristy, Leslie H., Tierra, Daniella and Taryn. Amanda gets the final rose of the night courtesy of the producers I’m sure. It’s always better for ratings to keep the crazy girl around for as long as possible. Unless there is concern that she is homicidal. Then it’s best to send her packing as soon as possible.
Brooke and Diana did not get roses. Sean tells Diana that he would rather she go home to her daughters. Diana blames herself for not being good enough. Sean sends Brooke home despite his assurances to Robyn that he has dated women of all 50 shades.
There are still a lot of women for Sean to weed through on his journey for love. As of now, Tierra is the villain, Amanda is the crazy girl and Destinee seems to be the frontrunner. We shall see what next week brings.