Today my sons turn two. It’s been two years of memories, milestones, and meltdowns. There’s been more joys, worries, and frustrations than I could have ever predicted. The journey of parenthood is unlike anything I could have ever imagined; in some ways it has exceeded my wildest dreams, in others, I’ve seen how we often over romanticize the notion of parenting. Being a mother is the most rewarding and difficult job there is all at once.
There was a time, however, that I thought I would never be a mother. A time when everybody around me in my professional and personal lives were beginning the journey of parenthood while I sat waiting for my ticket to board the plane.
When you are a child nobody tells you that you might experience infertility. As a teenage girl you are made to think that even the act of just kissing a boy will get you “knocked up.” Finding Prince Charming is supposed to be the big challenge, after that the picket fence 2.5 kids and the dog are supposed to naturally follow with minimal effort. So when you initially decide to start that family most think it will be a swift process, when it takes a few months you realize it’s not as easy as you were made to believe by your parents, when a year passes…well then you begin to feel broken, or at least I did.
I’m a far ways past the broken woman I once was. For a long dark part of my life I was held to a schedule of constant doctor appointments, injections, and crying sessions. I got to a point where I could no longer celebrate birth, but felt the sting of a pregnancy announcement akin to the news of a death. I never wanted to feel that way, it was just the natural hurt that many infertiles, male and female, feel.
So today, in honor of my children, in honor of the gratitude I feel for conceiving what I once thought was inconceivable, I ask you to please be aware that infertility exists. That the childless couple your family prods may not be that way by choice, that the woman at work who avoids the baby showers may not really be a bitch, and, sadly, that not all infertiles will be as lucky as I am.
I am eternally grateful for this gift I have been given and I do not take one day for granted. Cherish your children everyday, and pray for those that desperately want them.
Regards and hugs,
Update: I have launched a foundation to help people afford costly fertility treatments. For more information on Priceless Life Fund Inc. visit PricelessLife.org and follow us on Twitter @PricelessLife1 . You currently can support us by purchasing our exclusive sterling silver necklace made by Good Charma or contributing to our Go Fund Me page.