The Real Spinoffs of Atlanta

Kandi Burruss (Source: BravoTV.com)

The Real Housewives of Atlanta is turning out spinoffs faster than Kenya Moore can twirl.  The newest RHOA to debut a show is Kandi Buruss. Already a few weeks into the season, The Kandi Factory is like  American Idol on speed; at least the one episode I saw was. Airing at 10pm EST on Sundays, I’m usually trying to fall asleep when it’s on, but I found myself awake last week and got sucked into watching the entire hour. The episode I watched featured an overly emotional gay rapper and a shy almost albino blonde Marilyn Manson wanna  be who calls himself Sweet Tooth. Essentially The Kandi Factory is Extreme Makeover “Rock Star Edition.” Buruss takes these seemingly clueless (and talentless) hopefuls and tries to mold them into performing artists by writing them each a song and coaching them in vocalization and movement to prepare them for a live performance. Post-performance Kandi and her team choose one winner who gets a video and a single that can be purchased on Bravo TV’s website.  Though I do like Kandi and find that her easygoing, nurturing persona shine in the role of music mentor, the songs she wrote on this particular episode didn’t impress me. Sweet Tooth, who dreams of being a goth god, had a song that sounded more cheesy 80’s hair band than goth. Perhaps goth isn’t Kandi’s specialty. As a former goth kid, and forever fan, I certainly could suggest some music she should check out, but the song presented actually reminded me of a bad, very bad, song I wrote when I was in fifth grade. The upside is The Kandi Factory held my interest,  after all it is a makeover show, and we always, no matter how painful it is to watch, want to see how a good makeover turns out.

Kim and Kroy are excited to see the progress being made on their new dream home. (Source: BravoTV.com)

Former Buruss BFF, Kim Zolciak, is back with Don’t Be Tardy. Now in its second season, we are following then Zolciak-Biermann clan as they build a new home and juggle two little boys under the age of two. Zolciak and her brood are as entertaining as always. Anchored by her practical husband Atlanta Falcons Defensive End Kroy Biermann and her stylist Shun Melson, Kim manages to just be shy of forever going off the deep end. As wacky as some of her ideas are, like recreating her wedding for her first anniversary, there always seems to be someone there to rope her in or at least roll their eyes. Don’t Be Tardy  is the type of show I look forward to every week, yet don’t want to tell anyone about it. In one scene Kim takes her daughters to what appears to be a Whole Foods only to have them balk at what isnt processed crap in cardboard boxes. The whole conversation was reminiscent of TLC’s Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, yet I feel less guilty watching because the Zolciaks are like Honey Boo Boo’s wealthy cousins. I’m looking forward to the rest of the season which will see the return of June Boo Boo, er I mean Jen, Zolciak’s best friend.

The Atlanta Housewives will continue to saturate the Bravo landscape when both Phaedra Parks and Nene Leakes join the spinoff club. I’ll be sure to park my donkey booty somewhere cozy to check those out for you when the time comes.

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