Newlyweds: Episodes 4 and 5

Tea and awkward conversation. Tina and her mother in law. Photo credit:

Tea and awkward conversation. Tina and her mother in law. Photo credit:

By Lesley Rousso

This week will be a double recap, and it’s a good week to combine because episode four only had a few worthy scenes.  The highlight was, of course, Blair and Jeff’s wedding in Savannah.  It started with a red ,white and blue party because the fourth of July is Blair’s favorite holiday.  The party looked fab and they clearly have a loving and supporting group of friends and family.  Except for Jeff’s rotten parents, who didn’t come.

Tina and Tarz took a trip to the OBGYN and were scolded about following theories and wives tales to try to concieve a girl.  The doctor really snaps at Tina which honestly, I thought was uncalled for.  Who cares if someone wants to stick a wooden spoon under the bed (Jewish one) to try to get their girl?  Yes, I did this.  Didn’t work that time, but I did get a girl eventually.  Dr. Mean continues on by telling them it makes no difference if they have a boy or a girl, that “when that child comes out, if anyone did anything to that child, you would kill them.” She’s all crazy eyes when she says it and T & T exchange a look and a little laugh.  But nope, it doesn’t stop there. She then tells Tina they may have to look at her egg quality because she’s close to being very old.  For the love of god, Tina is 35!  Maybe the problem is all the glitter, there is literally a rainbow of sparkle pillows all over their bed. (What did Tina think of the doctor? It’s in TBB’s exclusive Tarzina interview!)

As far as John & Kathryn, it’s a lot more of the same.  Woes over money again.  Kathryn likes to spend and is bored.  A lethal combination.  Trust me!

Alaska and Kim fight over furniture, something she bought.  It’s, and I say this loosely, a couch. It’s a settee, not a couch.  It belongs in a formal living room, it’s not even comfortable.  Alaska and I agree 100% on this.  Their other couch is way more cozy and I know this for a fact, because it’s the same couch I have!  I once noticed this on an episode of Bethenny too, we have the same chandelier, go figure!

Episode five starts off in bed with Blair and Jeff.  Not what you’re thinking, they are discussing the fact that they haven’t had sex in two weeks.  Two weeks??!!  That’s a little extreme. They’ve only been married five months!  Jeff apparently is busy working out and gardening.

Kathryn is now sixteen weeks pregnant and eating, a lot.  John isn’t quite sure how he feels about it as he tells us he’s never had sex with a “fat person” before.  Umm John, honey, she’s pregnant, not fat and you my dear are no Brad Pitt.  Get over yourself!  Meanwhile, the two go for an ultrasound and find out they are having a boy!  John wanted a girl.  Oh well John!

Tina and Tarz are in NYC for a Bollywood bridal magazine premiere.  Tina, who is famous in India, is revealing to her fans that she is married, and to a white guy at that. Tina’s fans are very unhappy about this even making threats against her.  Wow!  Tarz goes out to lunch with Tina’s dad. Dad is not thrilled about dining with his son in law.  The lunch goes like most of their other meetings, not well.  Poor Tarz, will he ever measure up?  Tina has a meeting of her own with Tarz’s mother in which she :gasp: asks for tips on how to seduce her son nearly giving the poor woman a heart attack! T and T, having survived in law encounters of the uncomfortable kind, go out to the premiere where Tina performs, and she is surprisingly talented!

Kim, a stylist prepares for New York’s Mercedes Benz Fashion Week while Alaska is in LA again.  She worries that the distance will be hard on their relationship.  I don’t blame her here, I would be concerned too.  The two have fun together when Alaska gets back in town and then guess what happens?  They fight, AGAIN!  Shocking…

All the Newlyweds are married about four months now.  What’s next?  Stay tuned…


About mommyrou

I am a Miami raised wife and mom of three. Actually six if you count my 3 dogs. I have always been a TV junkie and I'm not embarrassed to admit it!

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