RHONJ Season 5 ep 5 “Everything is Coming Up Rosie”

Send in the clowns...We need Milania to break up the monotony!

Send in the clowns…We need Milania to break up the monotony!

Melissa is having a June Cleaver moment with Antonia when Joe pulls into the driveway dropping more F-Bombs than Tamra Barney does in an entire season of RHOC. After he and Melissa trick Antonia into leaving the room, he tells about the Teresa run in at the gym. He also gives Mel a talking to about her behavior on Twitter. Meanwhile Antonia is outside the door listening the entire time.

If Teresa was thrown by her encounter with Joe, we don’t see it. Instead we see her in an enormous blue fur collar watching Milania and Gabriella at indoor soccer practice. I think at this point we’d much rather see Milania running around like she’s eaten an entire bag of Pixie Stix than hear any more about the Giudice/Gorga feud. In fact if anyone from the editing team is listening can we just insert comic relief clips of Milania each time this show gets too heavy?

Speaking of comic relief the Manzo family is talking about marriage, careers, and blow jobs. Yes, I double checked with my Twitter followers to make sure I heard correctly. Albert also finds his accommodations in Hoboken “a cramp in the dick.” I guess the family that talks schlong together stays together. And since none of the Manzo kids seem interested or prepared in starting their own families right now they will be staying together for quite a long time. Just ask Lauren who, though she’s been with Vito for about four years, still wants to “soil” her wild oats. Yes, “soil”…and she pokes fun at all the Teresaisms.

Speaking of Teresaisms, people “shouldn’t throw stones…or whatever” is how she says the saying goes. Instead of casting those stones, she’s making phone calls to Caroline of all people. Apparently she no longer minds Caro’s meddling and has decided to encourage it. While Tre is reaching out to Caro, Joe is reaching out to Rosie, who then reaches out to Tre. Here’s a saying folks, “too many cooks spoil the broth.”

Maybe Rosie should be mediating for her sister who is having some issues in her 21 year old marriage. Apparently being business partners and partners in life is a little too much for Rich and Kathy. They can’t seem to agree on anything when it comes to Kathy’s fledgling cannoli business. Rich’s business savvy has him calling all the shots,when all Kathy wants is a say in all the decisions. Personally, I’ve seen these two in action…and whatever it is they will work it all out.

Rosie and Teresa (in another ginormous fur collar) meet in a bar in a confrontation that changes tones the way Sybil changed personalities. One minute they are screaming, cursing, and squealing (well Teresa is squealing) and the next they are giggling and planning a bonding retreat. Like Rosie said, maybe it was the alcohol.

Under the radar again was Jacqueline, who, aside for losing her “boner” when Caroline got Teresa’s call (ay that family with the penis talk again) has again grabbed at our hearts with her work with Nicholas. Everyone else on the show take note: Jac and Chris are facing their greatest challenge and instead of letting it tear them apart it is bringing them together. Can’t the rest of you just get along?

P.S. Teresa you are a beautiful girl, but please stop dressing like King Jaffe Joffer from Coming to America. I hope the retreat will be too warm for fur collars.

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