Tre arrives at Mel’s house with sprinkle cupcakes. You’d think they would stay away from sprinkles considering all the problems they caused in the past. Tre gloats about Milania Hair Care which prompts Mel to gloat about her book. Tre is offended that the cover features only Mel. Mel hints that Tre may have something to do with cheating rumors surfacing around the time of the book deal.
Jac is on her way home from her California nip and tuck, and just in time because Chris admittedly has his hands full. Either this is crafty editing or the woman is bionic. She flies home less than a week later and enters her house standing straight and tall. Remember folks, I just had this surgery. I walked bent over like I was 90 for 2 weeks and there was no way I was wearing jeans like Jac. Truth be told, I saw Jac three weeks after her surgery, and Chris confirmed she is bionic.
Rich and Kathy go grocery shopping. Rich brings his obnoxious behavior and Kathy brings her Red Riding Hood meets Scarlett O’Hara costume. Kathy scans the bakery’s cannoli selection. I’m not sure if she wants to buy or tell them she does it better.
A few of the men are out for drinks. Joey wants to know if he should invite Tre to Mel’s birthday vacation. Rich says they are all in a new place since Lake George. Apparently Joey is still not convinced…neither are any of us watching.
The Manzos are all together again; big surprise. Al leaves early to work; bigger surprise. Albie finds what looks like Richie’s glasses stuffed in the couch; biggest surprise. Later Lauren and Vito are having dinner and it seems that a proposal may have been on the menu, until Lauren orders independence. Seems like Vito is now her second priority as she is married to Cafface. Honestly, I get it, she’s young, but it was uncomfortable to see Vito get so upset. Hoping it was producer infused drama.
All the adults meet at a Hookah bar and again there is some sexual tension between Mel and Rosie. Everyone drinks and goes gaga over Jac’s new body parts…blah blah blah.
Tre calls Mel and invites her to the Milania Hair Care launch. She also points out that Jan and Penny will be there, which cues us in that drama is about to commence. One person not invited to the launch is the namesake herself, young Milania Giudice. In her desperate attempt to get a pass to the “adults only” soiree she slides down a bannister with boobs larger than mine. Got to hand it to the kid, for pretend boobs she did a pretty good job, they looked real enough, lopsided but decent for a kid stuffing her T-shirt.
Tre’s makeup artist is helping her get prepared when Kim D comes to visit. Milania answers the door, but Kim fails to notice she suddenly wears a D cup. Gia appears to give Kim the stink eye. As they discuss the night’s potential drama Mel is getting her nails done with her friends and is also discussing the night’s potential drama. Somewhere in this mix Kathy and Caro take a stroll though Hoboken, and I find it more effective than Ambien.
Apprently Caro filled Kathy’s head with all kinds of I am Woman Hear Me Roar and Kathy sticks it to Rich regarding the test kitchen. She refuses to go back and is cooking up a storm in her own kitchen. One; aren’t you supposed to have an industrial kitchen to prepare food for sale and two; why does she prefer to mess up her own house?
After the little Wakile intermission, it is now time to party for Milania Hair Care. Grab your sunglasses because there are more sequins than there were in that hour of Dance Fever and Solid Gold back in the 80s. Mel confronts Jan who is wearing the worst shade of lipstick to match her tacky neon dress. After Jan decides to walk away, and award Mel an imaginary Oscar, we are treated to Penny. I have no clue how she is relevant or what she is talking about. She’s not friends with Tre, she doesn’t know Mel, this is all to her admission. So how is she involved? If you have the answer please submit because I can’t figure this one out. The only thing Penny seemed to do is exonerate Tre…whom she supposedly doesn’t know.
Next week: Joey finds out where Arizona really is located and Jac finds her soft spot for Tre.