Bravo calls it Salon Farewell. I call it The Nightmare Before Easter. When I introduced you all to my title last week I couldn’t exactly say why. Now that I know what was aired…and more importantly what wasn’t…I hope by the end of this article you will all understand. I hope I can clarify a few things for you, even though I personally will never be able to make sense of what I witnessed that night.
The Posche 2 party occurred on Saturday March 30th which was the eve of Easter 2013. It was an odd night to hold a filmed event, an even odder night for the mayhem that ensued. There was nothing holy about that evening.
As I previously wrote the party started out light and fun. Chris Laurita and Joe Giudice got a little dose of metrosexual pampering, Jacqueline Laurita had her hair and makeup touched up, Melissa Gorga was in a great mood and socializing. Only one person tipped me off that there might be a problem. Someone loosely affiliated with the show motioned to Penny Drossos and told me she had a “bad feeling” that something would happen simply because Penny was there.
In the background you can see people mingling on TV. You can even see me if you look for my pale face and blonde hair. I stick out like a piece of Wonder Bread in a bakery of whole wheat loaves…I will never be tan enough for New Jersey. It wasn’t until we saw Johnny The Greek walk in looking really pissed off that we knew we were about to see some major drama. At this point my pale white ass got stuck in a sea of spectators. We all turned towards the back of the shop where JTG approached the escalating argument between his wife and the RHONJ cast.
This is when things got ugly and two thirds of my team went running for the hills. JTG’s voice got loud and the last thing I heard was “Ask your f*cking sister.” Then I heard smashing, thrashing, and glass breaking. I was caught between staying put, backing up, or moving closer to get more of the story. I decided to stay put. I couldn’t see what was happening, but I could hear enough to know it was bad. I was jostled back and forth, frontward and backward as the crowd backed up to avoid the debris. Yes I said debris, because my head would never have been able to wrap around what all that crashing and banging was unless my eyes hadn’t seen the aftermath.
While I was being tossed around the Manzo kids burst through the door and into the crowd like superheroes. I later found out they had been dining nearby and came when they received a text from Caroline that there was major trouble. I’m pretty sure that Albie and Chris were strictly there to protect their mom and weren’t involved in the fight. While this was going on Jaime and Brent of TBB had escaped to the sidewalk out front where a group of people on the street gathered. They wanted to know what was going on. When they were told it was a RHONJ filming they started asking Jaime and Brent to take pictures with them, so while I was being tossed like a salad, my staff was getting the star treatment.
As quick as chaos tookover, it suddenly subsided. JTG was escorted out the back door and the crowd began to disperse. Kim D was visibly shaken and screaming at Penny who I was shocked to see didn’t walk out with her bleeding husband. Yes, bleeding, there was blood everywhere. It was splattered on the walls, on the floor, even on some of Kim’s inventory. Speaking of Kim’s inventory I’m sure thousands of dollars of her cuffs and fashions were ruined along with the display cases, which would account for some of the shattering. The rest of the shattering came from two hairwashing basins that were in the area. You know those giant thick porcelain sinks that you lean into at the salon? Well two of those were smashed to pieces.
In my lifetime I had never seen such brutality and I hope never to again. I’ve seen bar fights and people rough eachother up. I’m not THAT sheltered, but this was beyond. After it was over I spoke to a shaken castmember whose name I will not reveal. “Can you believe all this for a show? That this is what our show has become. It’s sad, it’s not worth it anymore.”
However, let’s go back to the finale, because after all this is supposed to be my final season 5 recap. I was pleased to see this season end on a high note. Kudos to Sirens Media for putting the drama first and all the love and light at the end. This was much better than how season 4 ended, and even though it was known the night of March 30th that the party would most likely make the finale show, it wasn’t known just how perfect the finale would end. All the cast at the Giudice’s shore house laughing and eating, it was like the old times, like the last two seasons were some ridiculous Dallasesque bad dream and everybody finally woke up.
So where do they go from here? It feels like there’s nowhere to go really. The conflict was resolved, everyone was happy, in the land of scripted television that would signify the end. There are many rumors about what will and won’t be next season. I more wonder should there even be a next season? What do you all think?