RHONJ Season 5 Ep 14 “Horse Whisper to a Scream”

A friend or a disciple? Credit: Bavotv.com

A friend or a disciple?
Credit: Bavotv.com

Melissa and Joey wake up at Miraval (how many times were they required to repeat that name?) and Melissa has had it with this “vacation.” She doesn’t want any more therapeutic nature walks, but Joey promised it’s going to be a wonderful day.

Jac and Chris are up early having breakfast and pondering what Teresa’s “karma” and “children” comment is about. Meanwhile Teresa is lurking behind them like a panther. Suddenly everyone appears and it’s time to start the so called wonderul day Joey was talking about.

Lucky Melissa, the wonderful day consists of scraping crap off a horse’s hoof. Enter Wyatt, the fast psychobabbling Kenny Rogers look alike. Wyatt has brilliantly figured out a way, as Richie so eloquantly points out, to “get people to pay to clean his horses.” The premise is if you are open and honest the horse will lift his hoof for you and if he doesn’t lift his hoof you suck.

The horse seems to lift his hoof for everyone (except Melissa). Rosie worries that the horse won’t lift his hoof for her because she’s not good enough. That’s some low self esteem right there, “I’m not good enough to clean sh*t off a horse’s foot.” Poor Rosie, luckily the horse proves her wrong and we see Rosie clean the crap and smile.

Melissa and Teresa are not taking the exercise very seriously. Melissa makes a joke of the whole process and Teresa runs away like a little girl who is being followed by a bumble bee. Kenny, I mean Wyatt gets annoyed at Teresa for accepting a call from Milania.

Kathy and Jac continue to get emotional as they have through every other exercise. Rich consoles Kathy and Teresa consoles Jac. Joe gets up to take his turn at the hoof and Teresa gets reprimanded again for talking. Joe is quite nervous and Wyatt asks what he’s afraid of. I’m starting to wonder if Wyatt is psychic or maybe he just reads the tabloids because in a genius move he gets Juicy Joe to discuss his legal issues (mind you these are the ones that stem from the fraudulent driver’s license charges as this was filmed long before the hot mess he is in now.)

Caroline and Al take their turn and Wyatt sees right through Al’s eyes to the fact that he was emotionally abused. Al says this could be true according to most people’s definition. Al gets emotional, Caro says how much that hurts her and then cleans the hoof crap for them both.

After the “long day” everyone is debriefing. Kathy and Rich want to be there for Tre and Juicy, Chris likes that Jac is happily getting along with Tre, Tre has no insecurities and she and Mel want to spend the rest of the trip doing spa things. Caro hit the nail right on the head, these two are indeed the same person. This is why they can’t get along, like repels like.

The weekly commercial break clip ( you know the one…bonus footage tossed in the middle of some ads) is about equine erections and sex. We then come back after the rest of the break to Tre in her sparkle crotch bikini and Juicy in the hot tub. Juicy is all philosophical because of his interaction with the horse. Tre says he is honest and doesn’t deserve this. Honest people with fraud charges? Hmmm that doesn’t seem to add up. Either way Juicy is definitely shaking in his horseshoes (sorry I couldn’t help myself).

It’s evening and the gang is drumming with a Native American in loin cloth and full headdress. Most of this must have went onto the cutting room floor because it seems totally irrelevant the way it is shown. After all the granola group activities everybody is back to their comfort zone…drinking at their compound. Rosie gets up and says that everyone needs to pay more attention to Kathy. Juicy reiterates that he has fear and every man does…just don’t tell his wife that every woman has insecurities.

Jac is still wary of the comment Teresa made last episode and fears it referred to Nick and if it does well that’s pretty awful. The women however bond and talk about what they want for their friendship moving into the future. Then they brush one another’s feet like they did to the horse.

Next Week: We finally see that tightrope scene between Mel and Tre, Joey gets some nasty messages regarding Mel, and Mel finally gets a formal birthday celebration (complete with conflict).

Please help me launch my foudation.

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2 thoughts on “RHONJ Season 5 Ep 14 “Horse Whisper to a Scream”

  1. I took Tre’s karma comment completely differently. It seemed to me to be subtle acknowledgement that she may not have been or done the best things and that she’s fearful it could affect her daughters. She wanted to right the wrongs which seems to be centered around Jacqueline. She seems to keep wanting to fix that relationship. But it also seems that Jac doesn’t trust Tre at all and always assumes the worst. As much as I would like to see the old relationship back, I don’t think it can ever be. The trust is gone.

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