By Lesley Rousso
We begin with Lea who is busy recleaning for her maid Freda. Lea calls Alexia, who clearly has a terrible cold. Lea, however, is visibly annoyed when Alexia tells her she is planning on attending the Gay Polo event before the gala. Alexia promises to only be gone a couple of hours and says she will make it to the event.
Meanwhile, at the Hochsteins, Lisa and Lenny arrive home from the fertility specialist and Lisa tells us they’ve decided to go ahead and use a surrogate this time around. Lisa is still clearly bothered and tells Lenny that he’ll never understand and he agrees. He points out though that they have failed every time. Lisa is very upset though as she want so badly to be pregnant.
The Lea Black Victims Club, as they call themselves, hop onto a party bus, complete with stripper pole, and head to Gay Polo. Alexia, despite feeling ill, says she’s too afraid to cancel on them. They sound like fun friends! Lauren Foster joins them and it makes for an interesting ride. Adriana rehashes the argument she and Frederic had in French with Romain at the Venue party. On the ride up, it starts to pour and the party bus springs a leak. Classy. The ladies arrive and head to the VIP tent and meet up with some interesting characters. This is after all, Gay Polo. Adriana’s friend Jonathan decides to stir the pot and asks who is going to Lea’s gala. The other girls take jabs at Lea and Alexia remains silent. Alexia is freaking out because she needs to tell them she is going to the gala. As they start to get on the bus, Alexia tells them she is going with the driver Herman arranged to pick her up and is going to the gala. The girls are pissed and say that Alexia is playing both sides of the fence.
Over at the Fontainebleau, just hours before the gala, Lea meets with Beth, her book editor. During the conversation, it appears that Lea has actually morphed into comedienne Amy Phillips. All the blinking and loud talking, I almost can’t take it. Then there’s a knock at the door and Lea opens it to American Idol winner Tayor Hicks. Lea tells us that Taylor has just this one night off to perform at the Gala. I’m guessing dinner theatre must have been closed that night. Lea’s jeweler Jeffrey Rackover then pops in with about a gazillion dollars worth of diamonds for Lea to borrow for the event. Lots more screaming now. Oy vey, I’m getting a headache.
Lisa gets ready for the gala, steaming the housewife favorite, green Stella McCartney dress. Lenny comes in with a surprise, a “feel better” diamond necklace. And I mean a DIAMOND necklace. Lisa and Lenny arrive at the Fontainebleau and Lisa heads up to Lea’s room. Lea is wearing a crazy matronly black fit and flair(?)/mermaid gown. Lea shows Lisa all of her many jewels. The difference is, as Lisa points out, they are borrowed, Lisa owns her necklace. Lisa asks what happened at the Venue party and once again Lea does her Amy Phillips impression, telling Lisa about the argument in French.
Back on the leaky party bus, the girls continue to berate Alexia for going to the gala. They tell her she got played by Lea and Lea always gets what she wants. Alexia tells them to grow up because it’s not about winning or losing and exits the bus. Alexia arrives at home feeling terrible both literally and figuratively. She calls Lea, who is carrying a gigantic purse, and tells her she’s too sick to attend. Seriously, the purse is bigger than Lisa.
Now, the gala is in full swing. Lea and company are working the step and repeat, Joanna shows up looking gorgeous and there’s a surprise appearance by last seaons’s cast off Karent Sierra. Other guests include Lance Bass, Dennis Rodman, Elaine Lancaster, and my close friends Jennifer and Barry Gould. Dinner is served and the live auction begins. Cue the silence. Really, no one is bidding. Lisa models a bracelet that is valued at $75K. They get a bid of $10K. Lea is not thrilled. Mercifully the auction ends but not before a lady donates $10,000 for the “most beautiful Polish girl in the room”, Joanna Krupa. Flo-Rida takes the stage and we catch a glimpse of Roy Black dancing. He takes his shirt off, Flo-Rida, not Roy and Lea again does her best Amy Phillips impression yet. The episode fades out as the other girls take the party bus home.
Next week: Lea and Alexia attend the same party, Lenny’s parents come to visit, Frederic and Romain have a sit down and Joanna is crying. .