When I attended Kim D (DePaola’s) opening celebration for her Posche 2 store in Ridgewood, New Jersey, I figured I was in for a night of cocktails, finger foods and fun with perhaps a dash of drama. This was the fourth Real Housewives of New Jersey filming I had attended and I kind of knew the drill. Fortunately at this point everything I had seen had been quite tame. Perhaps that’s why none of it made the show. This party was anything but mild. Team TBB walked out probably more shocked than we had ever been. It was our first taste of true RHONJ drama and a frightening reminder that, despite the creative license of editing, much of what we see on this show is real, and quite sad when all is said and done.
With just one installment remaining in the franchise’s fifth season, RHONJ will soon be just another Housewife memory. We will forget what we liked and didn’t like and move on to the next group of privileged Bravo ladies and involve ourselves in their cat-fights and chaos, until next summer when the slate is clean and we tune in again (of course that is if the show survives.)
On the latest episode we start with Mel and Joey who are still perplexed by their run in with Penny Drossos in episode 16. Rumor has it that the editors moved that footage which in real time was taped before the Arizona trip. While I have no inside knowledge if this is true I will say that I believe it is possible. Things are taken out of linear time quite frequently on all reality shows to create a story. Reality television is filmed for months at a time, then the producers have to break down that footage and piece it back together in a way that will tell a story and captivate the viewers. Some viewers feel this is sneaky and unfair, I disagree. I feel it’s necessary because great stories make for great television and life, as it naturally happens, isn’t always that exciting. Oh, and as for my personal proof this happens, I will get to that later.
Back to Mel and Joey. They have two issues on this episode. One is getting Penny’s mouth under control and the other is getting Mel’s voice under control. They fly to Florida to the “compound” for Mel to learn and execute a song live for a radio station. She has 24 hours to perfect this or her singing career could be in the crapper. If she does well she will be invited to perform in front of 150,000 people at an annual concert. While she sings in FL, the rest of the cast listens from either Jac’s house or Tre and Juicy’s car. Unforgettable was the look on Kathy’s face as Mel attempted those high notes.
Mel and Joey aren’t the only ones who have beef with Penny. Jac and Chris are also ready to confront Penny and her husband Johnny regarding tweets in which the duo claimed that Nicholas’s diagnosis was a sham. I don’t blame Jac and Chris for being angry over this, I don’t see how anyone could. That’s an extremely horrible thing for somebody to suggest.
Teresa is lunching with Victoria Gotti, whom she befriended after the two appeared on The Apprentice together. Victoria is asking Teresa a lot of personal questions regarding Juicy’s phony license case and possible jail time. Teresa really doesn’t want to discuss it even though Victoria is relentless. Mind you this was all before the current charges against the Giudices surfaced. I think airing footage of Tre hanging out with the daughter of the most famous organized crime boss of our time was not very kind on Bravo’s part.
Kathy and Rich are over Joseph’s Ferrari joyride from earlier this season. So over it that they buy him a brand new Jeep. Rich claims he just gave his son a couple “inches” to his manhood. Though he doesn’t say manhood. I’m sure quite a few people cringed at the penis extension reference, I mean the kid is sixteen and this is international television, but it’s Rich Wakile, by this point we don’t expect anything less.
The Manzos, who we now know have been shown as a constant unit in preparation for their spinoff, are busy preparing for the opening of Chris and Albie’s restaurant, Little Town, NJ. Here is that proof about creative editing I referred to. The Posche 2 party occured on March 30th (hence why I refer to it as The Nightmare Before Easter). The restaurant party happened on April 17th. I know because I was at Lauren’s Cafface anniversary party on April 8th when Albie invited me to the opening. I ended up unable to attend that night. Too bad because it ooked like fun. Lauren’s party, though a favorite event for me, was yet another night that landed on the cutting room floor.
Once Mel and Joey come back from Florida the show goes full speed ahead into the Penny and Johnny conflict. Jac confronts Penny who says she would never say such things becase she “taught autism” whatever the f*ck that is supposed to mean. Penny literally points the finger at Teresa for not only spreading the Melissa cheating rumors but for also setting Mel up at season 4’s Posche fashion show…affectionately remembered by fans as Strippergate.
Prior to the beginning of the end the evening was quite pleasant. Here are some of the things you didn’t see:
1. Chris Laurita getting glammed up by the Moxie Salon staff. They showed Joe Giudice’s turn in the chair but I don’t recall seeing Chris’s on TV.
2. Jac’s makeup being touched up by the Moxie girls. While this was happening Jac and I had a 15 minute conversation about her tummy tuck surgery which was completely filmed as they held the camera on us and a boom mic over me.
3. An incredibly stunning photographer who probably should spend her time in front of the camera standing on top of every piece of furniture imaginable to get the perfect still shots.
4. The bar of adorable sandwiches that nobody, except yours truly, seemed interested in eating. I understood why when a few bites dragged my lip stain to my chin and the Moxie makeup artist had to fix my foundation.
5.Heather Robinson, of season 4 hot tub fame, who was in attendance. Robinson held an event at Christmas time that also ended up nixed from the final edit.
Though everybody was hoping for the best there was a slight air of tension. As one attendee told me, “I’m worried something is going to go down, especially with Penny here. I have a bad feeling.”
I know you are all dying to know what happens next. All I can say now is that it is shocking. I will tell you all more after the finale airs next week. Stay tuned.
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