What Haunts Me Most

Family time like we had at this recent Halloween parade is what I most look forward to these days.

Family time like we had at this recent Halloween parade is what I most look forward to these days.

I’m super looking forward to Halloween this year, and it has nothing to do with my maccabre obsessed Goth teenage days.

There’s a lot people can say about me. Some like what I do on here, some don’t, but I think one point everybody can agree on is that I am extremely busy. I have a bad habit of taking on more and more. I manufacture my own stress the way that some people manufacture their own cholesterol, but I do it voluntarily. Sometimes I’m really proud of all the balls I have in the air at once, sometimes I want to toss them all out the nearest window.

The only ball, however, that I would never consider tossing is my mommy one. It is the most precious and prized one of them all. Sadly, I feel it’s the one I drop the most often. Thanks to a physically and emotionally demanding day job, my quest to get on a different career path, and my desire to help others through my foundation Priceless Life Fund Inc. the world gets the best of me, my kids get the rest of me.

My day starts early, like before the sun comes up early. By the time I get my kids in the late afternoon/early evening, I have lived what feels like two days. I actually go to the gym before I get them just to get a second burst of energy. Without that workout I’m like a lifeless sack. I never wanted it this way, but as it stands I, like many women these days, never was able to choose. My generation of women have a lot of choices…but, for many, staying home with their children is sadly not one of them. I wonder if our mothers ever considered that when they burned their bras.

I remember being a kid and my mother, who ironically chose to work when she didn’t have to, was never able to attend school functions if they were during the day. I remember feeling I would have done anything just to have her come on a class trip. I don’t want my children to feel that way, and so when I got a notice about a pre school Halloween parade I panicked. Worse the note said that times were staggered because so many parents attend. Suddenly my mind was flooded with images of my sons straining their necks above the crowds in search of a mommy who wasn’t there.

I wrestled with the thought of asking to come to work late. Would it sound silly? A 20 minute Halloween parade that would make me 2 hours late for my non flexible houred position? But I kept coming back to the voice in my head, the one that haunts me. “There’s only one first time,” it says. “They are only little once,” it warns. Swallowing my pride I asked for that time. I got it, see my bosses are all mothers too, and I feel collectively, as working moms, we are all haunted by the same voice.

I’ve been to galas and tv show filmings. I’ve spoken on the phone with personalities that some people would wait hours in line just to get an autograph from. I’ve walked red carpets in designer dresses. You know what the highlight of my year will be? A 20 minute Halloween parade that I was shaking in my high heeled boots to ask for permission to see.

That evening we will all be going to a local attraction with thousands of lit pumpkins. Family time without interruption. It’s a rare luxury these days. So please, don’t waste your time sending your trick or treater to ring my doorbell this year, my kids are going to be getting the best of me.

What haunts you? Are you struggling with the working mom balance? Your answer below could win you our latest Housewife Hot item of the month!

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Melissa Gorga Debriefs Season 5 in a SWEET Interview

imageOn Thursday October 24th Cresskill New Jersey’s Sweet Spot was a hot spot! Promoting her recently released Love Italian Style was Real Housewife of New Jersey Melissa Gorga. Melissa signed books and chatted with excited fans who also got to nibble on the incredible cupcakes the popular shop is famous for. Adamant that anything Season 6 is off limits (we just couldn’t get any word on those casting rumors), she was more than happy to discuss all things Season 5, her new home, and of course her book…even the controversy surrounding it.

TBB: Now that it’s all history, what are your thoughts about Season 5 ?

MG:  I think Season 5 was probably, to me, one of the longest seasons. I felt like it just dragged on and was never going to end. It was a little bit of a tougher season, but it was just long.

TBB: What was your favorite moment while filming?

TBB's Brent Osborne, Melissa Gorga, and Sweet Spot owner Melina Milionis .

TBB’s Brent Osborne, Melissa Gorga, and Sweet Spot owner Melina Milionis .

MG: Favorite moment…You know when me, Joe, and all the kids took a bunch of people and went ice skating, that was my best. I think you got to see a little bit of that in the lost footage. That was fun. I enjoyed the fun moments when we’re all having a good time, that’s what I enjoy. I don’t feed off the drama, I don’t enjoy watching it. I enjoy watching us laugh and giggle. You know I loved the Lost Footage, I thought it was better than the season! I thought that watching us laugh and play and have a good time should not be unseen and it should have been incorporated into the regular season because those were some of the best moments if you ask me.

TBB: Other than the lost footage, do you have a favorite Season 5 episode?

MG: One good episode, I thought, was when we were all in Arizona and we were on that highwire. I thought it was “WOW”. It was a wow to be there and be that high up. I don’t know if that came across on TV, but doing that with my sister in law was amazing.

TBB: Your book, Love Italian Style, has got a little bit of controversy surrounding it. What do you have to say to its critics?

imageMG: I think they need to read it first before they try to say anything negative about it. My book’s about honesty, it’s about loyalty, it’s about putting your marriage first. It’s about putting your partner first, that’s what my book is about. Some things are definitely taken out of context and I think when people read it they clearly see that.

TBB: There are a lot of people who want to write books, I myself started one and it’s very hard to stay motivated to finish it. What advice can you give to somebody reading this who would like to be an author?

MG: Oh my gosh go and do it! It’s the most amazing feeling when you actually receive the book in your hands and know that you wrote it and put words down. It’s an amazing feeling to have and anyone thinking about it, go for it, and I wish you luck!

TBB: How’s the new house?

MG: We are currently in Franklin Lakes and we are building a new home right now so it’s going to take a good year to build. We’re renting right now about two miles away from where we’re building so it works out really good and we’re happy. We wanted to get over to Franklin Lakes so that the kids could be in the school system starting in September so we didn ‘t have to switch them in the middle of the year. I didn’t want Antonia to get any older before we had to pull her out of one school and switch her into another so we hurried up and we found a house to rent.

TBB: Are Antonia and Milania still getting some playdates in?

MG: They are! They actually cheerlead together now a lot. So they have seen eachother and things are really good now, thank God!

 

Share your thoughts below and you could win the same scarf Melissa wore on the show! Details here.

RHOM Episode 11: The Black Sheep

Yee Haw! Lisa, Lea, and friend at a Texas bar! Credit: Bravotv.com

Yee Haw! Lisa, Lea, and friend at a Texas bar! Credit: Bravotv.com

By Lesley Rousso

The episode begins with Lea packing up for a trip to her home state of Texas.  She explains that she’s going because RJ wants to see his cousins and none of her huge family ever plans on leaving Texas.  Lisa is also packing, she is joining them.

Romain and Joanna Skype with Romain’s family to tell them they’re getting married and have set a date.  Unfortunately, none of them can make it to the wedding.  Later, Romain sets up a lovely drink outside on their dock and he rips up the prenup.  A huge boat pulls up and they hop aboard.  Romain then brings out a surprise from inside, an adorable puppy!  The three sail off into the sunset.

Adriana‘s son Alex prepares for a dance and Adri wants to be the chaperone.  Not happening!  She makes a very big deal out of him going.  Which, as a mother, I totally get.  Frederic plays chauffer and drives Alex and his friend in his Rolls.

Back at the airport, Lea, Lisa and RJ are headed to Dallas.  When they arrive at the hotel Lea’s family is waiting for them.  Lea has a huge family that, until now, we really knew nothing about.  I immediately see where she gets her taste in jewelry. I was literally “blinded by the light”.  Lea is the oldest of her sisters but, because she doesn’t live there, she feels she doesn’t really fit in with their “cult”. It is uncanny how much Lea’s sisters sounds exactly like her.

The group ventures to suburbia to a cousin’s house.  Everyone is in denim, sparkly jewelry and cowboy boots, the complete opposite of our Miami gals. As they prepare to eat lunch,  her family blesses the food, which RJ thinks is bizarre.  Her mother and sisters tell Lisa that Lea was the most popular girl in school and had tons of boys after her.  They also reveal that Lea worries about the family and just sends checks if she knows someone is struggling. (She could just send one of her five hundred Birkins). The family and Lisa agree that Lea puts a wall up with people.  Her mom says that they know the true Lea, who is a caring and generous person.  They bring up Lea’s sister Kim, who died in a freak car accident three years ago.  Lisa observes that Lea just kind of shuts down and seems to have a really difficult time talking about her feelings.

Lisa and Lea meet up with a friend at a Dallas bar. Lea had a skincare company in the 80s and this woman was one of her employees. We are treated to many old pictures and videos.  She was also in the health club business (think Jazzercize).  Then, a man with a cowboy hat…stereotype much…asks Lea to dance and we learn that Ms. Black is a pretty great dancer.  In her twenties, she tells us, she worked sixteen hours a day in heels dancing.  Up next, they ride the mechanical bull and I half expect her to tell us about her days as a professional bull rider.

Back in Miami Alexia and Herman throw a small dinner party to celebrate their anniversary.  Alexia gives a speech and Frankie throws his two cents in whenever he feels like it.  It’s actually adorable.  Peter to be doing better, now if he would just cut that hair. Marysol stops by Alexia’s and the two chat about Mama Elsa.  She’s not doing well and Marysol is very upset.  I’m not exactly sure why they knocked Marysol to recurring status when she’s on every episode.

Lea, RJ and Lisa prepare to head back to Miami, and have a last breakfast with Lea’s mom.  They say goodbye and the episode ends.

Let me give you my opinion, for what it’s worth.  I found a really likable Lea Black on this episode.  I enjoyed seeing where she came from.  It helped me to understand who she is, and why.  Dare I say, I have a new respect for you Lea.  Let people in a little more though, it can do wonders.

Up Next:  Lisa plays armchair psychologist on Lea, Adri and Lea cry over their lost friendship and Joanna and Lisa argue.

What did you think of Lean in this episode? Comment BELOW and you could win our October Housewife Hot Item Giveaway!