I’m a stay at home Mom by choice and by circumstance, and I consider myself lucky. I’ve been married to my attorney husband for almost fifteen years. We have three children, two boys; thirteen and eleven, and a girl who is seven. From a very young age all I ever wanted to be was a mommy. Well, also a fashion designer, veterinarian and movie star but those were just phases. Being a mom always remained consistent.
I had my first child at twenty-seven, and dove in. Needless to say it was a lot different from what I expected. I don’t care how much you’ve babysat, how many nieces and nephews you have, being a first time parent is a shock to the system. Luckily, I had an easy birth and I didn’t have postpartum depression. I also had an unbeliveably good baby who really wasn’t fussy and spent most of his time being happy. So what am I complaining about you ask? Nothing really concrete, just the shock of having to wake up in the middle of the night (that was a tough one for me) and trying to figure out how to pack a virtual suitcase every time I left the house with him. I got the hang of it though and by baby number two, a nice surprise twenty-one months later, it was a piece of cake. When my daughter came along four years later, I was a pro.
Now, just like my pal Tara, it’s a juggling act, but for different reasons. Activities to be taken to, homework and projects, friends over, and a lot more, all times three. Somedays, the only place I actually sit down is in my car while I play chauffeur. I am fortunate that I can stay home every day with them. I rarely miss anything. I am at every school event, game, recital, you name it. Often I feel taken for granted though. They expect a lot from me, which they should, I’m their mother and I chose to be so, but I would be lying if I didn’t say that I crave alone time. Now while Tara just needs that twenty minutes to go to a parade, I’ll admit, sometimes I’m like, “Shit, another show to go to?”.
These days while my kids are at school all day, if I’m not at Target or Nordstrom, you can often just find me right here, at home. It’s the simple pleasure of being ALONE with nobody talking to me. I’ve always loved “me” time, and being a stay-at-home mom of three, I get very little of it. When they’re at school, it’s quiet and I can actually get things accomplished. Most of the time these accomplishments involve laundry, but who cares? I can watch my DVR’d shows in peace while I fold. Other times, like today, I’m writing an article. I really thank Tara for the opportunity to write for her, basically based on my tweets alone, she gave me that chance. It’s been super fulfilling for me in only a way that it can be. I love my “mommy job” but it’s amazing to write something, and then realize people are actually reading it and they like it. And, not a single one of them is asking me for chocolate milk. I also have a couple of other little businesses, making hair accessories and dabbling in graphic design and video. Guess I got that creative gene.
I wouldn’t trade my Mommy job for the world and I know one day my kids will look back and (hopefully), feel grateful that they had a mom that could devote so much time to them. I hope they remember my hard work, planning their birthday parties and schlepping them around, making sure everyone got what they needed. I also hope they are proud of me for my other accomplishments, like my writing. I think being gratified in that way, having that article to write, which is solely my own, makes me better at my most important job, Mommy.
Are you a working mom or a stay at home mom? What are your thoughts on the subject? Your answer could win you our Housewife Hot Item of the month! This month we are giving away Wrapadoo gift cards! For more information click here!
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You are welcome for the opportunity! As a working mother…not my choice I might add, what always gets me is the SAHMs talking about all they do for their families, often forgetting that those of us who work outside the home have to do all of that stuff on top of working. It’s stress beyond stress for many. I assume there are women who LOVE what they do, but many people don’t, and it’s bosses and families making demands. In that situation the anxiety is almost unbearable.
Great blog today! Now please run me over some chocolate milk. 😎
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I’ll be right there 🙂
Wow Lesley, I swear you were writing about my life. It’s nice to know that someone has the same thoughts about motherhood as I do. I always like to say Diapers, Dishes and Driving is how I spend my Days. I am always so busy, I don’t know how working mothers do it. I can’t imagine what it must be like for them. I feel they have such a harder task then I, however they will reap the benefit of providing a financially stable home. I chose to stay home since we had twins when we were 20 years old. I wouldn’t make enough working full time and paying daycare. My husband worked three jobs for 5 years until we got steady on our feet. Then I was hooked when they started school I just couldn’t bear to not be home for them. I joined PTA and swiftly became president. I was volunteering every day all day at the kids schools. I was offered so many jobs but turned them down for fear of not being 100% there for the kids. That lasted until middle school was over for them. I started to stay at home and to care for my newborn niece. My sisters #Priceless miracle. Then along came baby #3 our singleton baby boy. What a surprise that was. Who knew you still needed birth control 13 years later! 😜 that was the craziest year of our lives we went from being a family of four for 13 years to a family of 6. My husbands developmentally delayed sister had to move in with us. She is constantly going to activities. my friend and i even started a special needs weekly improv class for her and her friends. It’s been quite a ride thus far and now the twins just got their learner a permits. God help me I’m gonna be gray at 35! I truly appreciate reading about your juggling act learning I’m not alone in my thoughts and experiences. This is why I love Bravo so much it’s my escape from my daily tasks without going out and causing personal drama I just watch others. Makes life so much easier.
Wow Laura, you definitely have a lot on your plate. I’m not sure either how working moms do it. And I’m not talking about the ones with nannies or live in help. I cannot imagine working full time and then coming home to do all the stuff I get done during the day. Like I said, I crave those moments of being by myself. I cherish those, whether I’m cooking, cleaning, or writing because they’re few and far between. Yesterday I spent from 2 to 7 just driving back and forth. My husband is a big help but let’s face it, he’s not me. There are some things only I can do. It’s a tough job a lot of the time but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
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I quit working in 96 to have babies, and six of them later, I’m still at home with them. Son many times I have thought about how much fun it would be to get a part time job, but it never happens because I always worry about how it will affect my family. Will I be there to do homework? Will I miss a soccer game? I just can’t bring myself to sacrifice those things, just yet.
I am a working mom due to necessity, not choice. However, my son is in school while I am at work.
I think each family has to do whatever is best for them and their situation.
I want a Wrapadoo…
I need a Wrapadoo in my life!
Love this article and I can definitely relate to the wanting alone time. I only have one child, a very active almost 4 yr old but I also work a full time and part time job. I feel guilty that i have to work as much as I do and so I want to spend as much time with my son as possible. Yet between that and cleaning, doing laundry and paying the bills……there is very very rarely any me time. Notice I didn’t say cooking? I do waaaayy too much to do the cooking as well. Thanks for the article again. Its nice to be able to relate!!!
Lori, I can relate to you! I have the FT job and the side businesses (TBB & my NFP Priceless Life Fund Inc.) I used to cook all the time…these days not so much. Thanks for reading and commenting. Hang in there!
Thanks Lori! I actually don’t mind cooking, when it’s one meal and not five separate ones. Try to find some spare time to yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes. Glad you enjoyed the article 🙂