On November 10th Bravo debuted its latest new series. Thicker Than Water follows the Tankard family, headed by Benjamin Tankard, the Godfather of Gospel and Jazz. Ironically I never heard of this man before this show, despite the fact that he never misses an on camera opportunity to remind us he’s a “celebrity”. He’s also under the impression that he is funny, saying things like “you could hear a mouse pee on a cottonball in church.” Tankard,who began his music career after a stint in minor league pro basketball, tries way too hard to be charasmatic and ends up coming across annoying at best.
Settled into what the family refers to as their “palace” in Murfreesboro Tennessee, Ben and his wife Jewel, who refer to themselves as The Black Brady Bunch, raise their blended family which includes a granddaughter, a teenager, and three grown children and a daughter in law…who all still live at home. I often wonder if these people are so rich, which they also never hesitate to remind us, why they don’t send all these mooching adults to their own apartments. Perhaps it’s because they will miss opportunities to coach them on how to be millionaires. Yes, this is the most important thing to these people, that their kids make their first million…and their youngest stays a virgin.
In addition to their business interests, the Tankard matriarch and patriarch are volunteers at a local church where they preach about, of all things, sex and money. Ben talks about making “midsection appointments” while his wife tells the women in the community that God “wants” them to “wear Louis Vuitton.” While they are busy selling sex and materialism, their adult offspring are busy acting like children. Brooklyn is trying to launch a line of cheap looking hair extensions…this is a step up from the strip joint she used to run with her sister Britney, something they got into some legal trouble over. Son Benji lives in the house with his wife Shanira. I’m honestly not sure what he does, other than tease his sisters and sit on the sofa eating cereal. In fact the most mature of the pack are seventeen year old Cyrene and Brooklyn’s daughter Diamond who must be around twelve, but may as well be thirty in that house.
The hour long train wreck which airs at 9pm EST after The Real Housewives of Atlanta has gotten a lot of negative attention on Twitter. People have called it a “hot mess”, saying that it’s rampant with racist stereotypes. However, people are watching it. According to Bravoratings.com the show is doing quite well on the heels of the network’s powerhouse RHOA. The second episode had almost 2 million viewers. Personally, I think these people are obnoxious, however I can’t turn away. I’ve even got my husband watching.
Shock value is a HUGE commodity in Reality Television and Thicker Than Water is rich in it. Shame on me, I’m going to keep watching. I just need to see what stupidity will happen next.
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