By Lesley Rousso
Let me start off by saying that I can’t believe we’re on episode ten already. Good thing RHONY is coming back soon! Okay so the episode opens at Sur with the continuation of the argument between Joyce and Brandi. I swear I’m having deja vu here. Brandi continues to curse up a storm and Arnold Schwarzenegger, excuse me, I mean Michael continues to reprimand* her. Brandi is a drunken mess and Joyce tells her she’s tacky. Brandi responds by telling her how disgusting it is that she say that to her. Brandi honey, do you expect Joyce to just let you throw a barrage of insults at her and not respond? If I were Joyce, tacky would be the least of it. Brandi can dish it out but she has a big problem taking it. She tries to blame it on her puppy being gone and starts crying. Ken and Yolanda try to diffuse the situation as the Pump Rules kids try not to laugh in the background. Yolanda takes Brandi away from the table. Ken tries to smooth it over, saying that Brandi hasn’t been the same since Chica went missing. Joyce tells them that she gets that but points out that this all started before the dog went missing. I would feel for Joyce a little more if she would stop using the word bully. This is not seventh grade, you are all grown women. She’s not bullying you, she’s just being a bitch. Yolanda puts Brandi in the back of a car, a sobbing mess and comes back to the table. She tells Joyce and Michael that Brandi is a good person, what you see is what you get. Clearly, they disagree. If I were them, I would feel the same.
Over at Animal Planet, Kim waits for Kingsley to return home. The trainer brings him in and explains what Kim needs to do to maintain what her dog has learned. The biggest problem with keeping a dog trained is being consistent. If you are though, dogs are smart and they will listen. I’m sure those of you who personally know my pack of dogs are shaking your heads right now but that’s another story for another time. They go over the commands and Kim tells us that it doesn’t make sense to her to keep him on a leash all day. Will Kim be consistent? We shall see.
Carlton and the girls, including Elizy, head into the backyard armed with buckets to clean the playhouse. Think mini castle. They play around the backyard I am now coveting, have a hose fight and argue about not killing a spider. Cute, but serious fluff by Bravo. Especially right on the heels of Kim and the dog.
Following right along with the fluffy pattern, Kyle and Joyce meet at the golf course. A golf pro greets them and Joyce says for the seventeenth time in this thirty-second scene that although she looks the part, she has no idea what she’s doing. I’m not sure about you, but if I were on the course I probably wouldn’t be wearing a shirt buttoned down to my belly button. Just a thought. Kyle is a little better although the wedge high-top sneakers wouldn’t be my first choice either. Anyway, Kyle swings and misses several times and Joyce is really no better. When they take a break, Joyce fills Kyle in on the latest dinner party from hell. Meanwhile Yolanda arrives at Brandi’s and they discuss the previous evening. Yolanda tries very hard to give her some words of advice, noting that she’s a Scorpio and when Scorpios sting, they sting hard. I could not agree more with Yolanda here. Back at the golf course, Joyce tells Kyle some specifics and Kyle looks shocked. Brandi tells Yolanda, she won’t change who she is and continues to make excuses for her behavior. Brandi will never see what she does wrong, she’s just one of those. We all know them. Joyce tells Kyle that Brandi is a negative person who will never have a guy until she changes her behavior. She goes on to say that she will be cordial, but from now on, Brandi doesn’t exist in her world.
Carlton and husband David arrive at the tattoo parlor for her to get her latest ink, which is a pentagram with her kids names around it and the phrase Blessed Be. She gets it on the back of her neck. It comes out super cool.
Ken and Lisa shop for furniture and pieces for the new restaurant. They talk about the dinner and Lisa says she had to stay out of it. Ken agrees but says that Michael should have too. Lisa disagrees, and says it was admirable of him, that he has to stick up for his wife. Ken says that no he doesn’t, not against another woman and Lisa tells us that’s BS, that Ken would totally defend her.
Kyle arrives at her store to prepare for her fashion show and runs to the rescue of a fallen mannequin. I see they added a runway, which is pretty, but small. Brandi gets into a car with her two friends and heads to the show, telling them about Joyce. Her friend Etirsa tells her the remark about Joyce being a black girl was a pretty stupid thing to say to someone she doesn’t know. Brandi and Joyce arrive at Kyle’s store minutes apart. Etirsa gives Kyle’s daughters tips on how to walk the runway, Sophia not wanting to do it. Kyle goes into the back to greet Jamie Lee Curtis who is serving as an emcee. Kyle and Jamie talk about being in the movie Halloween together when Kyle was seven and how sweet Jamie was to her. Everyone else shows up now including Eduardo, Mauricio’s dad who I don’t remember seeing before, Michael, Carlton, Kim, and Lisa and Ken. Jamie Lee begins the show, on behalf of the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles, by telling us that Kyle and Mauricio have joined the First Families of the hospital. This is a specific level of sponsorship which only donors who donate one hundred thousand dollars fall into. Good for you guys, what a mitzvah! (good deed) The show takes place, everyone looks amazing and it was all for a great cause.
When Joyce is done walking the catwalk , Lisa asks her to meet for a drink this week, just the two of them. Joyce agrees and goes over to Lisa’s clad in a pink swim cover up. Just kidding, it was a dress. Kind of. Lisa tries to apologize for the other night and says she’s not making excuses for Brandi, but she really kind of is. Joyce tells Lisa that Brandi lied, that they DO NOT have mutual friends. Lisa tells us that while Joyce is a formidable opponent, she’s probably a good girl (or she’s not a bad girl, inside joke). Lisa tells Joyce she feels that she herself is constantly chastising* Brandi. Like a deer in the headlights, Joyce says “What? What’s chastise?” So Lisa says, “I don’t know, reprimand”. Joyce is blank again and Lisa ends the episode saying “You don’t know that word either.”
*reprimand v. reprove or rebuke severely, especially in a formal way.