RHOBH Episode 11: Luaus And Lies

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Brandi and Joyce hug it out? Photo credit: Bravotv.com

The episode begins with Kim, daughter Kimberly and Kyle and daughter Alexia getting coiffed and waxed.  The waxing tech pulls out two very realistic looking vibrators for them to squeeze during the process to forget about the pain.  Okay, can’t say I’ve ever seen that before.  I’ve seen vibrators obviously, just not being held by someone who is about to wax me.  Who are this womans client’s for godsakes? Kim then gets her nose hair waxed. Inside of her nose.  Can’t say I’ve done that either, that sounds way too painful!  It’s nice to see the sisters getting along and having fun.

Meanwhile over at the pole dancing place, Brandi and Carlton take a class with some other friends.  Carlton arrives drunk.  Can’t fault her there, drunk is the only way I’d take that class.  She spends some time feeling up her friend Tara and then makes her way to her own pole.  She tells us she loves the female body.  Yeah, no shit.  She even licks the pole which is disgusting considering there are strangers random body parts all over those things!  Anyway, the girls prepare to go to Kimberly’s graduation party after class and Carlton asks if they can bring liquor with them.  Brandi tells her that it’s probably not a good idea considering Kim is an alcoholic and Kimberly is underage.  Umm, ya think?

At Kim’s house, she sets up for the graduation party luau.  Think lots of flower leis and bamboo tiki things.  The Fatburger truck arrives, do Kim and Kyle have a stake in this company?  Just asking cause it’s always at their parties!  The guests begin to arrive including Kimberly’s dad John with her stepmom Sheri and younger sister.  Joyce gets there, looking completely insane.  I’m starting to think she shops at the same store as Gretchen Rossi (costumeexpress.com).  Brandi and Carlton get there and decide to stop for a burger outside before going in, which Kyle thinks is odd.  While waiting for their burgers, some gross guy texts Brandi a picture of his penis.  Classy. The two make it in finally.  Carlton completely agreed with me telling us that Joyce looks ridiculous even asking her if she’s performing this evening.  The woman is wearing fake hibiscus flowers on top of her head.  She looks like a showgirl.  Anyway, Carlton goes up to the bar and orders something “fruity with alcohol”.  The bartender informs her that there’s only a few beers.  Carlton then says “That just won’t do, we’re alcoholics!”.  Probably not the best place to make that remark.  Don’t worry though, in case you missed it, Joyce tells us exactly how bad it was.  Brandi, who really is not drunk then runs to the bathroom to throw up.  Carlton, who is drunk, follows and starts talking to her through the wrong door.  Carlton and Brandi then make a quick exit, in a cab.  Kim then gives a sweet little toast to her daughter and they watch a slide show, which of course as a mommy and a sap, made me cry.

Lisa’s closet or Mecca as I like to refer to it is where the next scene takes place.  She and Rocio are going through clothes to donate and Rumpy Pumpy, LVP’s new puppy starts to eat one of the dresses.  He’s so cute!  Lisa is going through the dresses to donate to teenage girls living in foster homes to wear to their proms.  Those are some kinda hand me downs.  Lisa calls Carlton and asks if she has anything to donate and then decides to have all the girls over the next day to bring dresses.

Meanwhile over at Joyce’s house, a camera crew sets up to do an anti-bullying campaign shoot with her.  She poses, giving the camera the finger and flipping her hair around.  Honestly she should’ve gotten a manicure, knowing her fingers would be featured here.

The next day Lisa has everyone over at the breakfast hour, because she considers it a civilized hour.  Joyce gets there first with a few pageant dresses.  Really. They go outside and Kim arrives with like seven dresses, apologizing, saying that she’ll bring more.  Kim then CHASTISES Lisa, pay attention Joyce, for not making it to Kimberly’s graduation party.  Lisa replies telling Kim she knows she was in Missouri doing the alopecia event with Giggy and Ken. Kim tells her, that’s not true, my hairdresser saw you at Sur.  Lisa tells us, that they went all the way to Missouri to celebrate the children with alopecia because Giggy is committed to it.  Kim continues to argue to the point where Ken pulls up photos on his phone for her to see from the trip.  I love that he’s defending Lisa here even though last week they disagreed on whether or not Michael should defend Joyce.  Kim tells us that all they had to do was say they weren’t able to make it.

Well, in the next segment Lisa tells us they RSVP’d their regrets two weeks in advance and sent a gift from Tiffany.  Kim, what’s the problem here?  The rudeness lies with you for unnecessarily calling them out.  She keeps on, saying my hairdresser saw you and all the other girls came, blah, blah, blah.  Ken responds saying, “I’m sure there’s a lot of things Kim hasn’t turned up for.”  Lisa, saved by the doorbell gets up and Kim tells Ken that his remark was uncalled for.  Ken, who I love so much, then says “Really? I was protecting my wife.”

Brandi gets there, Lisa fills her in on Kim’s argument with her and Brandi gives her dresses.  Ken comes in, trying to make a quick retreat but Lisa makes him stay.  Kyle gets there with Roxy, her dog.  I’m not sure why she brought her but apparently Roxy has just killed a rabbit.  Lisa wants to put Giggy inside because he’s the same size as a rabbit.  I’m laughing here because once I thought my dog killed a possum.  Turned out that vicious thing was just playing possum.  Super fun!  Anyhow, Lisa and Kyle walk off with Kim and Roxy and leave Brandi and Joyce alone to talk.  They go over the same stupid conversation for the one hundredth and twenty-seventh time.  Carlton arrives last while the two are talking and then everyone just butts back in.  They all go back and forth and finally the two apologize, begrudgingly. Joyce even hugs Brandi, which Brandi is pretty disgusted by.

Next week: Brandi and Yolanda head to Sacramento for a book signing, Carlton clearly starts using her playroom, Joyce goes to the gun range, all the girls go to a boxing class, Brandi is a wreck, again and hers and Lisa’s relationship unravels further.  Stay tuned…

 

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About mommyrou

I am a Miami raised wife and mom of three. Actually six if you count my 3 dogs. I have always been a TV junkie and I'm not embarrassed to admit it!

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