I’m A Bea-lie-dor

Don't mess with Shannon's (or mine, for that matter) lemons! Photo credit: BravoTV

Don’t mess with Shannon’s (or mine, for that matter) lemons!
Photo credit: BravoTV

By Tara Cushing (@TheBravoBlonde)

Dr. Moon? Nine lemons at all times? Last season when The Real Housewives of Orange County ‘s Shannon Beador entered our living rooms via her non-toxic dream home, our cooky meters all buzzed a bit. From her visits to a healer who detected anger and resentment around her navel, to dentists who fill teeth with precious stones, I’m sure she made more than a few viewers’ eyes roll. In the real world world there’s no time (or money) to worry about such shenanigans. I confess my first impression of Shannon was that she was a neurotic princess with too much time on her hands. I found myself growling “get a job and some real problems” at my TV. However, as the season went on, Beador, in contrast to the penchant for pricey Feng Shui advisors and tacky holiday decorating, appeared rather down to earth. She began to appear…well… real, even if she did snap at her husband for disturbing her Feng Shui lemons.

Ah lemons, here’s where I begin to morph from a practical no-nonsense real middle-class housewife, to a superstitious nut. After some events that seemed a bit unlucky, I decided that it might not hurt to try to invite in a little good fortune. I was intrigued by Shannon’s lemons, they seemed so important to her, that the fate of her entire existence rested on the need of nine lemons in a bowl in her magnificent kitchen. A little bit ashamed of myself, I started googling lemons and Feng Shui.

Always trying to watch my wallet, I realized keeping my house stocked with lemons was going to increase my grocery bills. I said goodbye to weekly fresh flowers and dragged my faux ones back out. My lemons would now be taking over the decor portion of my shopping. I got my lemons in late September. I also smudged my house at this time for a little extra luck. Our house was on the market and the traffic of buyers over the summer had been a little disappointing. I needed all the luck I can get.

Almost immediately I got a call for a showing, then another. Since I incorporated the lemons into my kitchen decor there’s been a steady flow of buyers coming, sometimes up to four showings a week. Each time the requests slowed, I’d notice my lemons were rotting. I’d switch them for fresh ones and the calls would start coming again that day. (I’ll let you know how that is going later on.)

Around this time I also got a tip that somebody I knew needed some social media help. I was referred by a friend because of my experience promoting TBB. Always up for a challenge I jumped in with both feet. The result of that leap of faith has been amazing. I have enjoyed working for my client immensely and the supplemental income has been a blessing. Late in December my client decided to let me go. I was sad, but understood the need for him to do so. Long story short, three days later I noticed my lemons had turned dull. I bought 9 new ones at the grocery store and while TRANSPORTING them home my phone rang. It was my client, out of the blue, telling me he changed his mind and wanted to keep my services. His business is as busy as ever, I’ve got my second client starting in a few days, and have had two other inquiries for hire in the past two weeks. I should also mention that my husband also got a raise around the time my client called me back. Powerful money magnets these lemons are, I tell you all. No wonder Shannon is so wealthy.

Realizing Shannon’s lemons may not just be a figment of her imagination I wondered how her other methods might work. An acquaintance of mine has been doing healing, Dr. Moon territory, as a side business. She offered to do a session on me. “You have a lot of resentment,” she said. It’s true, I don’t forgive easily, and a lot of time the anger builds within me when people have done me wrong. She worked over points inhaling and exhaling as she went. In the weeks following I noticed I was feeling lighter, more positive, and able to let go of some of the bitterness I was feeling over past events with family and friends.

January began, a new year. Determined to make it the BEST ever, I smudged my house again, my lemons from December still spreading sunshine in my kitchen. By the second week of the month I’d had a steady stream of buyers. Then I got a second showing request followed by an offer a few days later. Could 2015 be off to a better start? (In my best Chandler Bing voice). With an offer acceptance it was time to start looking for a home.

We saw that a house we had liked in the fall was still on the market, we went back and fell in love. After an intense three day bidding war we came out on top. I placed the folded listing of the home under my lemons for extra luck. A few days later I also put a lottery ticket under them. I wondered if that might conflict with the energy on my dream home.  The next day I won $2 on the ticket, but was knocked out by the competition on the house again. I removed the ticket and by the end of the day the seller came back to me. Post inspection things didn’t look in our favor again, I noticed the listing sheet had been moved out from under the lemon bowl. I put it back under and the next morning, like magic, things were looking up again.

Now, is there any science to this? Probably not. Could it all be coincidence? Maybe, but hey, a little luck never hurts. If just believing in something makes a difference then why not? I’ll tell you one thing, I’m not leaving it up to chance. As far as my kitchen goes…whether it be this one, or the new one I move into…in the words of Shannon Beador, “There must be 9 lemons in that bowl at all times.”

Take Tara’s 9 Lemon Challenge!

Place 9 lemons in a bowl in your kitchen and tell us here at TBB what happens! Leave a comment in the comment section letting us know if your lemons are lucky or just…lemons!


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