By Lesley Rousso
Well, where do I begin? Last we left off, Lisa was completely hammered swinging on the pole and arguing with everyone in the party bus. The next morning, the ladies wake up super late and find that they’ve missed their plane. Lea finds Lisa passed out behind the bar in the suite wearing sunglasses. Drama ensues, they pack like psychos, and they end up renting a car to drive to Cali, ala the Hangover, for Joanna’s rehearsal dinner. On the way there they stop in the desert for Lisa to throw up and Adriana to pee. Priceless watching Adri in her five-inch red heels, popping a squat, in the dirt. On the way, they discuss the previous night and everyone kisses and makes up blaming the alcohol for all the drama.
Back in San Diego, the girls arrive at the Park Hyatt and hurry in to get dressed for the rehearsal dinner. Joanna looks stunning in a red dress, happy to see her sister Marta and her parents. Romain’s brother ended up making it also. Guests arrive, and Lisa is sad Lenny isn’t there with her. They rehearse and cocktail hour begins. Lisa and Alexia discuss that it’s hard for them to be there without their husbands. Lisa then tells Lea that Lenny and she have picked a surrogate and it’s a double-edged sword for her. On the one hand she’s glad, and on the other, she wants to carry her own baby. Lea gives her good advice, telling her to let it go and that essentially she’ll wind up with what she wants at the end, which is a baby.
The next day, everyone preps for the wedding, Joanna informs us that there will be over thirty thousand flowers on hand. Lea invites the other girls down for facials and Adri is the only one who shows. Lea is less than thrilled. Adri apologizes again to Lea, about planting the article. Adri seems to think that her and Lea are getting back to normal. Lea has a different story to tell. She informs Adri that once she sees that someone’s core is evil or negative, she doesn’t want it in her life. Adri bursts into tears and again apologizes. She practically begs but Lea is just over it.
Alexia gets her hair done, and surprise, in walks Peter as her date. She’s thrilled and they have a really sweet exchange. Hopefully, he’ll cut his hair soon.
The wedding begins, all in attendance. Romain makes his way to the chopping block, oops I mean altar. The bridesmaids enter and then Joanna arrives on her father’s arm. Joanna looks gorgeous, of course that goes without saying. The vows are sweet, the reception rocks, yada yada the episode ends.
Now I’m sure by now, we’ve all seen the reunions and heard about Joanna’s, umm, personal body scent problems. That was revealed on Watch What Happens Live last week by Brandi Glanville, as told to her by Mohamed Hadid. Allegedly, Joanna had an affair with Mohamed when he was married to Yolanda Foster. Mohamed tweeted out though, that the two are only friends. Brandi then dropped her little bombshell abount Joanna’s chuckalina to Andy Cohen and Mark Consuelos, who subsequently fainted. Joanna’s vagina apparently now has its own twitter handle. Classy.
So, I could recap the reunions now, but honestly, I think you should probably watch them with your own eyes. There was lots of fighting and #RHOM was actually trending last night which I cannot imagine has happened much this season, due to poor ratings. In fact, many tweeted that the reunions were better than every episode combined. Will the ladies return?
For what it’s worth, here’s my two cents. I enjoy watching RHOM for a couple of reasons. The first is obviously, because I live here, it’s my hometown, although my real hometown is Cleveland, Ohio (happy Mom?). Honestly though, I’ve lived here since I’m three, and my father Mike Reineri was a very well-known local radio star. So I like seeing everything I’ve grown up with, places I still go and of course the beautiful views which made me realize I take it for granted sometimes. Another reason I enjoy watching, and I may get flack for this, is Lea Black. She’s hysterical and never fails to make me laugh. Selling her wares, doing her best Amy Phillips impressions of herself, whatever. I don’t always agree with her, but that’s fine, at least she’s entertaining. I enjoy Lisa and think she should stay and would like to see more of Alexia. If they come back I also think Marysol should be on more. As for Adriana, I could take her or leave her. It’s nothing personal, I just wonder what more she has to offer. As far as Joanna is concerned, she needs to go. She’s played out and she’s just exhausting. She’s always upset or bitching about something, she’s very mean and as stunning as she is, she’s starting to look a little ugly. I don’t care about her sex life with Romain who may or may not be gay, or may or may not be sleeping with a Colombian cocktail waitress. Enough! If it comes back, which I’m doubting right about now, we need some new blood Bravo! If all is said and done for the ladies, Adiós amigas, it’s been real. I think…
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