RHOBH Episode 8: She Hearts You, She Hearts You Not

It wouldn't be a Yolanda party if David didn't get to showcase his talents. Photo Credit: Bravotv.com

It wouldn’t be a Yolanda party if David didn’t get to showcase his talents. Photo Credit: Bravotv.com

By Lesley Rousso

The episode opens with Yolanda arriving at the florist to select flowers for her dinner party.  She’s scheduled the Canadian Tenors to perform for all the ladies. Oh those poor Canadians, they have no idea what they’re in for.  Yolanda explains she wants to go out of her way to make her dinner party special because Palm Springs was such a disaster.

Joyce and her “baby” Michael arrive at a sushi restaurant and discuss what happened on the fateful trip to the desert.  She tells him about Brandi’s distasteful remarks. Her baby is clearly unhappy. They put the subject to bed and continue to have a lovely dinner.

Over at Brandi’s, Kyle, Mauricio, Portia and Kim arrive to help search for Chica.  Kyle is really overdressed for the occasion, but hey she’s there helping so you can’t really fault her. This scene is sad though, knowing that Chica was never found.

At Carlton‘s castle, she and nanny Elizy decorate the playroom. This is not the playroom most of us have in our houses, I’m talking about Carlton and David‘s playroom. Think, red room of pain.  She is designing a “staging area”  where she can apparently put on a burlesque show for her husband.  She and Elizy, who she says is also her best friend,(umm, okay) are actually taking an inventory of all her lingerie and toys, which include a ball gag and mask in one. Whatever floats your boat sister. Fifty Shades of out there? Maybe, but she makes no bones about it and I can respect that.

Meanwhile at the construction site that will soon become Lisa‘s “gay garden”, Pump, things are progressing. Lisa is quite the perfectionist and wants everything to be just so.  No doubt it will be.  She and Ken even look cute in hard hats.  Pink of course.

Over at Kim’s, we see that Kingsley has really improved his behavior since the trainer was last there.  Kim sees a big change but the trainer tells her that both Kingsley and Kim need to work on the co-dependency issue. He takes Kingsley to live with him and a pack of dogs for a week so that he can be socialized properly.   Kim is sad but lets him go.

In Malibu at Yolanda’s they prepare for the party and she is really involved in the process. She explains that throwing a party is more than just calling a caterer and having them do it for you.  She enjoys setting the table and doing the decorating. I agree because I feel exactly the same way. David rehearses with the tenors as Yolanda, her caterer/friend Thomas go over the place cards. They have a good laugh over the seating arrangements.  Yolanda is like the puppet master for the evening.

Kyle arrives to pick up Brandi, Mauricio meeting her at the Foster’s, and they head to Yolanda’s. Yolanda receives a call from Carlton saying she’s ill and can’t make it.  She tells David who balks a little and says, “Didn’t she know she was sick before 6:30?”.  He makes a good point. Kyle and Brandi open some wine in the limo and Brandi tells Kyle that Lisa and Yolanda are always lecturing her about her drinking. Kyle tells us that Brandi is a different person when Lisa isn’t around.  She wonders if Brandi wants Lisa to think she doesn’t like Kyle.

Everyone arrives at Yolanda’s and Gigi ends up filling Carlton’s seat at the table. Brandi tells Gigi that Joyce can’t stop staring at her because everything needs to be about her. Now that there’s someone younger and prettier there, it isn’t and Brandi likes that it irritates Joyce.  I totally disagree here.  I don’t think Joyce cares, and if she’s staring at Gigi it’s because, how can you not stare?

Dinner is served and everyone sits. Kyle questions why she, Joyce and Kim don’t have hearts on their place cards and Lisa and Brandi do.  Yolanda claims she did it subconsciously. Yeah right. Kyle says, that her subconscious was speaking loud and clear. What a great start to another dinner party.  Honestly, do you expect any less from our lovely ladies?  Brandi, who has already downed half a bottle of wine on the way there is clearly wrecked.  Lisa warns Brandi to behave and Ken tells her to drink some water.  This of course just adds fuel to the fire. David and Yolanda make toasts, she thanking David for standing by her during her Lyme disease.  Joyce makes a toast in Spanish and Brandi says she’d rather hear English.  Joyce refers to Michael as her baby and Brandi asks him if he is indeed a baby. Needless to say, he really doesn’t like this.

David brings out the tenors and they sing a beautiful song he composed. This is the only time there’s no pettiness going on.  The evening ends and Joyce and the baby recall Brandi’s nasty comments. Joyce realizes  she’s Brandi’s number one target but seems unfazed. The episode ends.

Next week:Yolanda gives David a book entitled “For Your Eyes Only”. Carlton tries on bikinis for David and his mom? Kyle, Brandi and Joyce try on dresses, Kim rides in a race car, and we have a Pump Rules crossover complete with another Brandi/Joyce beatdown.  Stay tuned…